The M3 Broke 100 M.P.H. in the 1/4 Mile but I'm Still Boring

June 26th.  That's the last time I wrote a car blog.  Why?  I've been writing blogs for over 10 years and I've learned that you should write when the muse hits you strong and you're feeling humorous.  Sometimes a glass of wine helps.  The best blogs write themselves.  But that's not why I'm writing tonight. I'm writing tonight because I can.  I'm away on business, which means I can't do anything else productive.  So I have two options, go wander around Seattle at 10 P.M. until I get robbed, or update the car blog.  So.. come on muse, hit me... please. Nothing. Is there wine around here?

First, an update.  In June I told you the BMW was frustratingly close to hitting 100 m.p.h. at the Woodburn drag strip (99 m.p.h. multiple times).   Well, I got the opportunity to try again.  Inexplicably, on a Friday night date, my wife and I found ourselves "driving past" the dragstrip and I begged Kellie to let me make a few runs and she (suspiciously) agreed.

I wanted to lower the weight of the car to gain that needed one mile-per-hour, so I took out the rear seat, spare-tire, stroller(s), stuffed animals, blankets, beach toys, etc.  My lightening attempts didn't work, and I couldn't hit 100 m.p.h.  So for the last run Kellie, who'd been watching from the stands, joined me. We put the seat, tire, jackets, stroller(s), etc back in and went out for one last launch down the track.

And we hit 100.  Apparently the M3 needed some weight holding the rear tires down?   Baffling.

I received a NHRA 100 mile-per-hour club sticker.  I'm proud of it.  How many other M3 owners have those? Probably not many, they're too busy cutting you off in traffic.  I was cut off today on the way to Seattle, by my car's twin.  I felt a little self-deprecation with my anger.  It was good though, it turns out self-deprecation and anger are the perfect emotions for Seattle and are the summary every Nirvana grunge song on the radio here.

Not long after the drag race I took my father out to the Portland Historic Races.  I had one of those light-bulb moments as we walked around.  I was about to say, "You don't have anything like this in your (small town in the middle of nowhere), do you?", when I realized five miles from his house in every direction are a BAZILLION miles of dual sport trails and he has about 10 running dual-sport motorcycles in his harem, not to mention 20 that may run someday.  My dad's freedom to have fun with a motorized machine blows my opportunities out-of-the-water.  Yay, once a year I can watch old rich dudes drive their expensive cars carefully around a race track.

I think the local vineyard owners should take their fences down so I can ride my dual sport nearby.  Britain has something called "the right to roam".  As a fenced in yuppieite I'd like to know more about this.

This summer my buddy Andrew put an LS motor in his land cruiser.  I helped guide it in.  Really, that's the coolest car thing I've done in the last 3 months.  The truck is awesome now.

Now, how about an update on my Lotus project?

Ok, I hate calling it a Lotus because I'm like one of those guys that builds a Fiero with a Lamborghini bodykit and calls it a Lambo.  Its a Fiero!  But my problem is, I didn't start with a Fiero, I started with... nothing... a pile of metal sticks.  I don't think I like what it could be called, being a British design.  In my politically correct grade school days they preached that a faggot wasn't a homosexual, it was a British pile of sticks.  Fine, apparently there's a faggot beside my house.

But British car people are cool.  Aside from watching the rich dudes at the Goodwood Revival truly race their pretty cars hard (and smash them), I met this British gentleman, rallying across the U.S., cleaning his car in front of Starbucks in downtown Portland because... why not?

The frame for my Lotus/Carish Thing is pretty well finished.  I know I'm going to have to re-weld shock mounts, the steering column frame, etc. but at least I can move on and deal with those as fitment issues.

Before and After

Right now I'm re-building and welding the front end. The Ford Mustang II front-end is awesome because parts are cheap!  I bought the hub/rotors for $30, with the Chevy bolt pattern that fits my spare M3 wheels!  They did cheap out on the wheel studs though.  When I placed a M3 wheel up to the hub, the wheel studs stuck out only a 1/4 inch, not enough for lug nuts.  And of course they were a size of stud that doesn't come in longer lengths, so now I'm tapping out the hubs for larger 3" studs I found on clearance at Summit.

Why I'm Re-Welding A Arms

Yes, I know that last paragraph was incredibly boring.  I'm bored too.  Considering deletion.

See, this is why the writing muse hasn't hit me.  Building cars around the frame is BORING.  I'm even bored when I'm doing it.  My friends think I like to work on cars.  I don't.  I just want to drive a fake Lotus Seven and I can't afford one that's finished.  So here I am.

One last note on building the Lotus, I somehow managed to match the 400 holes (not exaggerating) on the bottom of the frame to my new steel floorboards for riveting. Don't ask how, it's beyond boring and it took me two days.  But I did it, and I feel some sense of accomplishment.

Oh, and I found an older picture of my own Lotus/Car Type Thing when browsing Google Images for Lotus Sevens.  Turns out my car was a featured car on barnfinds.com when someone sold it in 2015. It was still ugly in 2015.

Argh, Mark Knopfler automotive lyrics just played on my radio and they blow away anything my mind can produce tonight.  I'll leave you with something well-written (and with British words again).  It's the least I can do after writing this blog.  Music and lyrics to Border Reiver by Mark Knopfler -

Southern bound from Glasgow town

She's shining in the sun

My Scotstoun lassie on a border run

We're whistling down the hillsides and tearing up the climbs

I'm just a thiever stealing time in the Border Reiver

A hundred thousand on the clock and plenty more to go

Crash box and lever - she needs the heel and toe

She's not too cold in winter but she cooks me in the heat

I'm a six-foot driver but you can adjust the seat in the Border Reiver

"Sure as the Sunrise"

That's what they say about the Albion

"Sure as the Sunrise", that's what they say about the Albion

And she's an Albion

She's an Albion

The Ministry don't worry me my paperwork's alright

They can't touch me

I got my sleep last night

It's knocking out a living wage in 1969

I'm just a thiever stealing time in the Border Reiver