The Lotus 7 Wannabe
I'm back fully engaged in the classic car world! I picked up a (sort of) Lotus Seven for $400. But this isn't just a story of my latest case of consumerism, it's also an excursion into the writings of a poser writer, the redemption of Craigslist, and a hope for the future of car culture (named Darrell).
A $400 dollar Lotus 7? What, did I buy a wheel?
Well, it's not a Lotus 7, it's a Nothing. Seriously, someone made it completely from scratch. From what I can tell it has a (terribly) welded space frame, Mustang II spindles, a MGB rear end and some MGB wheels (only two).
Sounds terrible right?
But its awesome! For some reason I can't look at it without thinking how much I like it. And I mean "like" as in visions of keeping it until the day I die and willing it to my favorite child. Of course this may change after I start working on it but right now I think it's the essential 1950s sports car; there is nothing but the bare essentials of fun and it looks like it will be a complete blast to drive.
The story of how I ended up with it is a little odd. I was shadowing a trainee at work. We work 12 hour shifts monitoring a system and I can say that not every moment is engaging, especially when your role is to look over someone else's shoulder. During one of those slow moments I was perusing the search term "project" on Craigslist's autos pages (if you haven't used that search term I'd highly recommend it; it's fun to peruse other people's failed projects and consider if you'd pick up the torch).
Suddenly a fairly complete looking Lotus 7 popped up for $600. The ad said that the owner was moving "today" and didn't want to drag it with him.
I'd never even seen a project Lotus 7 pop-up on Craigslist before ("project" being a common search term for me) and I couldn't believe the price. I called, called and then called again. Finally someone answered on the other end sounding somewhat exasperated. The Lotus was still available and not far from my work. I begged my boss for a couple hours off, grabbed some cash and headed to the warehouse it was stored in.
Pulling up I saw a Series 2 Land Rover and Ferrari GTO 250 (Datsun 240z body kit) on trailers. This instantly raised my spirits, There was hope the ad wasn't a total lie designed to lure me to the scene of my murder, which I'd pay $600 for.
I found the owner cleaning out his warehouse just as the ad claimed. He told me he was moving to a different warehouse and didn't want to move the Lotus because it didn't roll. A number of BMW 2002's, Honda CB750s, a homogolation special Mercedes, etc littered the shop still.
The Lotus in the ad had looked wonderfully complete. In truth it was highly mocked, with Nissan wheels leaning against the rear end and loose fenders placed carefully on tops of tires, but there was a lot of car there. I offered $400, asking to leave the Nissan wheels, and he agreed. Basically I wound up with a frame, nose cone, front end, aluminum body pieces, fenders, rear axle housing, and windshield mounts for $400. This redeems my terrible Canada trip (read about it here); you can find good deals on Craigslist!
I had no idea how to get the Lotus/Nothing home. Before seeing it in person I was thinking it was go-kart size and I'd just throw it in my Ford Ranger bed. Well, a Lotus 7 (at least this one) is about ten feet long and still weighs in at several hundred pounds (at least) without a motor and tranny. I called Uhaul and Hertz but they don't rent flatbeds and their car trailer's tracks were too wide for the narrow wheelbase of the Lotus.
My buddy Andrew came through. He called someone named Darrell, who came down from Washington at rush hour in pouring rain, to load my car onto a flatbed trailer and drag it an hour into the Oregon countryside. I still don't really have any idea who Darrell was, but I think of him as some sort of almost priest-like character, the embodiment of a potentially achievable brotherhood of classic car nuts (not just narcissistic buttheads working on cars by themselves in their garages). I gave Darrell $100 bucks I had in my wallet and asked Andrew if I should get him more later. Andrew said Darrell just likes to help people. Thanks Darrell, you're the man.
Once the car was tucked away in the side yard I remembered that Peter Egan had wrote many articles on his Lotus 7 project. I broke out Egan's Side Glances and was reminded why I started writing. I realized that I could still remember Egan quotes years after reading them. Here's a memorable one regarding the car I'd just purchased that I'd been thinking of when I bought the car - "Colin Chapman built the frame and then started removing tubes, one at a time, until the frame collapsed under its own weight. Then he put one tube back in."
And that's when I realized, with my failed books (buy on Amazon here), slightly humorous blogs, ownership of random British cars, etc., that I'm simply a poser Peter Egan. If you've read until here you're either family or bored. You can stop. Just go pick up Side Glances and you'll read everything you were hoping to find there. It's hard to explain, but I have the humility to admit I haven't achieved Egan's skills at sharing enjoyable classic car stories. Can those skills be developed, or is it God given talent? I don't know but I'm hoping for the 1st. Time shall tell.
On a more positive note my buddy Andrew is stoked about the Lotus 7 as well, and he'd like to be involved. It'd be fun to work on something with someone. Get beers, barely pause for food. Really get stuff done. Work long days with good jams on slamming this thing back onto the road (if it ever was). A picture of redneck efficiency. Then I remember we have wives, kids, families, different job schedules, and we live 45 minutes apart; these are the stark realities of adult life. Even as I write this one of the kids just started crying in the next room for no apparent reason. Sigh. Today was supposed to be my day to work on the Lotus but it's 12:30 and my wife's still not home from her 9:40 appointment. The reality I'm expecting is getting a full day to work on this thing about once every two months, if I'm lucky.
You know what though?
I've resigned myself to being ok if this project takes years. I'd love it to be ready sooner but I have a sports car (BMW M3 that understeers like a tank I found out at this weekend's autocross), and I have no pressing need for the Lotus.
Plus, the Lotus will be a non-poser opportunity to wear leather goggles; how often can you do that? And I get to wear logo shirts again! There was no way I'd wear a BMW shirt, but I'm totally cool with a classic green and yellow Lotus logo. Wait.. mine isn't a Lotus. So that DOES make me a poser again.
I really dig the Lotus 7/Nothing. From the nothing-but-sportscar concept to the cigar body/motorcycle fender look I think it's a strange sort of awesome. And if I ever get to drive it on a trackday (even if its years from now), I'll be a very happy camper. Being able to watch your tire as you try to hit the apex has got to be just awesome.
Signed,
Isaiah the Peter Egan Lotus Seven Poser
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