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Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Robert Stokes
The classic car magazines, shows, auctions and etc. can get boring with more and more of the same old, same old; so if you're sick of hearing what an amazing car the 911 VW is I'd like to show you some of the cars I dream of driving for a unique experience, not because they are the go-to dream of every hobbyist globally (a.k.a. anything Ferrari badged).
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user ClemensVasters
How about mounting a massive radial motor to the back of a 40's era soviet car? To top it off add huge skis and long travel suspension. The Russian Kamov Sever-2 did exactly that. I don't know how well it worked in Siberia, but man I want to try it.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user FrancoisGuignard
After a frigid weekend in Siberia blasting that (noisy I'm sure) Russian beast around I'd like to head to Africa to warm up. You know those bizarre French 2CV cars? Well, they built them with a motor at the front and back (two total) to make something that might be considered an all wheel drive.
I read some magazine that claimed these were made for the French oil expeditions in the middle east. It's telling that the only free Flickr photo of one I could find was a picture of two both broken at the same time but I'd still head off into the desert with one. What's an adventure without risk? And how bizzare can you get? Two motors in a weird French car blasting (or slowly wobbling I'd presume) across the desert? Yes please.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Georg Sander
Then there are mini-cars. I'd probably want one of those flags four-wheelers use in the sand dunes to let other riders know where they are, but geez I want to drive a mini-car. I know, from owning an MGA, that the closer you sit to the ground the faster it feels like you're going. Add in a terrible suspension, little tiny tires and a tiny motor that you'd want to keep wide open all the time and you have the pedigree for a riotously fun car. You'd feel like you were speeding and driving on the edge everywhere you went while grumpy crossover drivers piled up behind you like intense soccer parents in grandstands. Wait... they all are soccer parents...
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Georg Sander
And if you make a "Competition" version of said mini-car it has to be epically fun. I can't even fathom that the Messerschmitt Super would let me down. I'm relatively sure (when I wasn't driving it) I'd park it in my living room to brighten rainy Oregon days with its presence. Wish they'd designed a flat surface where I could put my beer though; maybe on the front seat.
Plus, could you imagine showing up to an SCCA Autocross in this?! I smile just thinking about it.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Image & Design Ian Halsey
Now you probably just saw the picture of the Morgan and thought, "What a dork, Morgan's aren't bizzare". Yeah, I found a picture of a Morgan, which has become almost as over-marketed and promoted as the 911 in the last decade, but it's not what I wanted but I couldn't find a legal-to-use picture of the right stuff.
I've read about something awesome that the Morgan had roots in. I hear back in the day garage mechanics in England pieced together their own three-wheeled contraptions to avoid English license and tax laws using motorcycle motors.
I think making my own tiny little three-wheeler is in my future if I become rich and no longer have to work (it could happen right?... sshhh, don't break my heart). I'm thinking of using an old Honda shaft driven bikes running gear and a relatively simple front end like the MGBs.
It's got to be fun, especially if I made it and it's a complete Frankenstien. Aren't we all proud of our Frankensteins, regardless of their actions. I would love it if it moved 10 feet without breaking. I'd probably throw my hands over my head, laugh hysterically, and yell "IT WORKS, IT'S MOVING" if it went so far as 10 feet without breaking. I'd hope it was night time and there was nearby lightning.
Especially if the budget was circa $1000. Yeah , I think I can pull that off. My old Honda Nighthawk was shaft driven and I was given it, albeit in rough shape but with a carb kit it ran fine (although it had no third gear). An MGB Front end can be found on Craigslist for hundreds. I can pound some metal in a roundish shape and take a seat from pick'n'pull for $40. Then let the fun begin! Hopefully I live. Of course it will use wire MGB wheels at the front!
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user P & P
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Jez
Ok, my babblings about Honda motors with MGB steering may have prepped you for turning off the blog but don't despair. For those of you that love massive motored muscle cars hear this one out!
Back in the day it was popular to put huge airplane engines in cars! These things breathe fire out of their short pipes. They look incredibly dangerous. The suspensions can't handle all the weight without being built like a small tank. And you'll barely be able to see around the motor. Oh, and don't forget it's necessary to wear ear plugs to avoid hearing damage. You know what, I'll take the ringing ears for three days. I want to hear every glorious moment of the experience so the memory is that much brighter if I survive.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Robert Stokes
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Jim Culp
Did you know Eric "On the Roof" Carlsson passed away recently of natural causes? Who's that? Well, wikipedia him, but in extreme short he won the 1960, 1961 and 1962 RAF World Rally Championships in the bizarre Saab 96 with front wheel drive, a three cylinder two-stroke engine, and column shift. How in the heck did those characteristics make a 3 time world championship rally car?!!! Was it just the driver or is the car somehow a strange magic formula for perfection off road? I don't know, but I want to pilot one and find out.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Joanna Poe
I'm too old to become a fighter jet pilot, but I still want to have control over a turbine. Several turbine cars made it through development to driving down the road. In the 60s Chrysler made a turbine car in the era when "because jet" was the main design cue; man I wish this styling cue still survived. In the late 60's there was a Formula 1 car with a turbine motor also. I'd sell small redundant body parts to drive the jet powered formula car on track. Or should I say pilot?
It's rumored that the Mercedes super-car in the new Bond movie was originally designed to have a turbine motor with small electric motors for slow speeds (turbines historically failed at anything less than near-full throttle). This setup makes so much sense. This will probably the only time in my life I'll ever say this but PLEASE MERCEDES! YES MERCEDES! DO IT!!!! (wow that sounds awkward!)
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user JorbasaFotografie
Speaking of odd powerplants, there was a gentleman in France who made street legal prop powered cars. Maybe I should have put this with the Siberian car mentioned earlier, but there are differences. Mainly, this one is meant for the road, not the Tundra snow. I'm pretty sure you'd want to brake as little as possible adding an extremely fun element to the challenge of driving this. Am I the only one that follows the slow-people coming down from the mountain in neutral in a game of keep-up without using the engine (makes it so much more fun)? Also, there would be the fear/terror of hitting a pedestrian or deer. On the plus side you wouldn't have to hire a butcher to cut up the venison.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Markvan Seeters
And on the topic of being in the middle of the road, how about a car that blasts peasants in front of you with steaming hot water. A unique feature of the Swan Car is that the nostrils of the Swan shoot steaming hot water forward. Who wouldn't love to envelop that black M3 that just cut you off with a steam bath? The swan doesn't do much for me, but the steam spitting does.
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Ron Brickman
And if we're going to discuss the fanciful, how about the Munstermobile? Possibly designed by some quasi-famous guy that dubiously claimed a lot of cars were designed by him, I'm dying (weak pun) to know how this car drives. Was it a true hot-rod or a barely running collection of cheesyness? Also, I've watched this show so many times that I could probably imagine the whole family sitting with me as I drove it. Creepy? Well that's the point isn't it?
Photo courtesy of Flickr CreativeCommons user Sebastiaan Claus
And lastly, I'll leave you with another French car. I don't know why, but I think the Alpina is gorgeous. I would put it on par with any Ferrari in terms of looks. To each his own, I'm sure. But I think it's a magnificent blend of aggressive and soft lines. And the fact that the face looks like an alien creature with multiple eyes just adds to my appreciation of it's foreignness. I hope the interior has other bizarre features, perhaps a Z shift pattern and gauges that read like old school thermometers. I could google it but then the mystery would be gone.
Well, there you have it. Some car thoughts that aren't commonly seen in the mainstream classic car culture. There's probably good reason for that, But if I made you think about one car you hadn't thought of before I consider it an honor!
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